Category Archives: Thoughts to Ponder

I Think I’d Like Another Gift

This Christmas I’m thinking about babies. All around me, women are pregnant. My youngest sister in law had a baby this past September. Another of my sisters in law had a baby last night – a sweet, chubby little baby boy. Three of my ostomy/jpouch buddies are pregnant, and an old friend from my dance years is expecting too.

And then there are those who are suffering. A good friend had a  miscarriage a few months back, and just this past weekend, another friend  lost his baby and girlfriend during childbirth.

The miraculousness that God incarnate came to earth as a tiny innocent baby is not lost on me. For the past two weeks, I have been both terrified and excited that I might too be pregnant. Turns out I’m not, and that brought about such a dichotomy of emotions I wasn’t expecting.

See…it’s probably not a good idea for me to have another child (physically that is). After 14 surgeries, this old (at age 35) body has been through enough. I had multiple issues with hernias and other things after Jaidin was born, and have finally been surgery free for the past 4 years. Putting myself through the stress of carrying, delivering and caring for a newborn has the potential to put me in a health situation where I’m out of commission and not able to care for anyone. Jon and I both know this, and had resigned ourselves to the fact that we’d only have one child.

But the past year or so, we’ve been talking about adoption. Jaidin really wants a brother or sister, and Jon and I both would like to have another kid. But there are so many variables to consider. Do we want an infant, or are we open to an older child? Can we afford adoption? (The answer is no, but we couldn’t “afford” Jaidin when we had her, either). Do we go through a private agency, or do we want to do foster care with the intent to adopt. We just don’t know. So we haven’t moved forward.

I just don’t know. Thinking I might be pregnant was scary – what about my health, how could we afford another child, what if, what if ,what if? But part of me was hoping, really hoping, that there was going to be a baby on the way.

The fact of the matter is that LIFE is a miracle, all life.  If you know anything about human science, you know  how perfect everything has to come together in order to conceive. And that’s just the beginning. A series of miracles has to happen every single day of our lives just to keep us alive.  And if you’re a believer in Christ, you understand the miracle that is adoption and the beauty of being “grafted in”.

Children are a gift from God, and I’d really like another gift. I think…

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems

“Every Christmas you always hear people saying what they want and what they bought. Well this is what I want. I want people who are sick with no cure to be able to be cured. I want children with no families to be adopted. I want people to never have to worry about food and shelter & heat.”

 

This is a status update making its rounds through Facebook land. And yes, it’s a wonderful message and wouldn’t it be great if all these things could come to pass. We read it, think “Yes, I want that too”, re-post, and then go about our merry way.

 

So here’s my challenge:

 

If you want sick people with no cure to be able to be cured – did YOU donate any money to research this year? There are countless non-profit organizations and research institutes  that are doing amazing work to find cures for what ails us. Pick the one that’s closest to your heart and send them a check.

 

If you want children with no families to be adopted – are YOU willing to bring an orphaned child into your home, care for it and support it like it was your own? Call the Dept of Family Services or a private adoption organization and see how you can help.

 

If you want people to never have to worry about food, shelter and heat – are YOU willing to donate, time or money, to an organization that can help individuals and families  through this type of a crisis?



 

It’s one thing to make a charitable Facebook post – it’s quite another thing to live it out, isn’t it?

 

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems. -Mahatma Gandhi

Does anyone even remember I’m here?

It’s been over a year since I last posted here. I doubt I have any readers left. However, this blog was never for others incidentally. It’s for me. Writing is cathartic and has always been a means of release – of happy feelings and sad feelings. Somewhere in the last year I lost focus and forgot about me, or at least the side of me that needed release. So I’m back writing and expressing myself, in hopes it will help me make some sense of recent circumstances – and find peace in the midst of all the emotions. Happy and sad.

Moral Bankruptcy

“It is extraordinary to me that you can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can’t find $25 billion to save 25,000 children who die every day of preventable disease and hunger.”  – Bono

Enough said.

Tidbits

I’ve been blaringly absent from the blogging world the past 9 or so months. A lot has happened that frankly I’m not interested in putting on public display, so I’ve just not written anything. But I miss blogging – for me, it’s a type of journaling, and a way to chronicle important- and not so important things- that happen in my life. So I’m back. Here’s what’s going on as of late – in bullet points – because I’m just not clever enough at the moment to tie them all together with some profound theme as a skilled blogger would do ;-)

  • Jaidin started kindrgarten in late August. According to her, school is “awesome”. Uh huh. I’ll ask her round about November, after she’s gotten up early every morning for 3 months and had homework 2 nights a week every week. I suspect her answer may be slightly diferent. Or maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised….
  • I’m officially a Spa Diva. In June I joined a company called BeautiControl as a consultant. I’d been to a few of their spas, and was looking for a part time job that would allow me to work a flexible  schedule, and BeautiControl kind of fell in my lap. So glad it did! I’m loving every aspect of it – and I’m making $$$. I’m not into shameless self promotion, so I’ll shut up now, but if you’re interested in having a mobile spa in the comfort of your own home, I’m your girl. Give me a call :-)
  • Spent last weekend in the hospital, or “Big House” as I affectionately call it. Damn peristomal hernia! Always causing blockages. I see my surgeon on Monday to see when we may be able to fit surgery # 15 into my busy schedule. I’m so frustrated with my body right now. And on top of it all, I caught a friggin’ cold while in the hospital (damn nosocomial infections!), so the percocet I’m taking for abdominal pain is doubling as analgesic for my sore throat. Whoa is me…
  • I’m really sick of all the mudslinging going on with the presidential campaign. We’ve become a nation of partisanship, division and powerlessness of the present. In remembering 9/11/2001 today, I long for the day when we are no longer conservative America or liberal America, but are The United States of America.
  • Found this wonderfully awesome ostomy blogger today. Go check out her website and read her blog. She’s candid, fun, and she offers some great ostomy lifestyle tips.
  • Started reading The Shack about a week ago. This book blows so many ridiculous theological views of God out of the water – I’m loving it.  As the back cover says “In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant The Shack wrestles with the timeless question, ‘Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?’ “. Anyone else read The Shack? What did you think?
  • I follow the blogs of  friends of a friend who are in the process of adopting two kids from Haiti.  The entire country of Haiti has been devastated by the recent tropical storms and hurricanes there, and the rescue center where these kids are staying is in dire need of help. Please go read Jamie and Aaron’s blog and search your heart as to whether you can help Real Hope for Haiti in any way.

 

That’s it for now. What’s new in your world? Send me some tidbits…I’d love to hear about what’s going on.

What he said…

I met Aaron once, around 6 years ago when my friend Matt got married. He’s the lead singer of Spur58 and a really honest, real and organic believer. I enjoy reading his blog because he says some really sage things that often confirm for me things I’ve felt in my spirit.

This is his post from today – and all I have to say is “ditto”.

http://aaronivey.wordpress.com/2008/03/10/in-black-and-white/

Writing Love on My Arm…

Today I wore my heart on my sleeve. Well, my arm really. At 8am this morning I wrote LOVE on my arm in red lipstick and left my forearm exposed for all to see.

Why, you ask? For Dave.

I met Dave in 2006 at a conference I planned. Like the rest of us in attendance, Dave had medical challenges that he dealt with everyday. This was the first time Dave had the opportunity to interact with others living with similar conditions, and when I met him for the first time in the hotel elevator, he was full of life, thanking me for putting the conference together. Because I was busy with event management “stuff”, I didn’t get the chance to know Dave as well as many of the other attendees, but everytime I saw him through out the week he had a 100 watt smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

I would have never guessed that inside, Dave was broken and hurting and had even previously tried to take his own life. Dave and I talked by email a few times after the conference and I tried to keep tabs on him through other friends that had gotten to know him well and had kept in touch following the conference. Then this past June, I awoke to an email the hit me like a freight train. Dave had finally succeeded in ending his own pain.

So today, through the prompting of an event called Love is the Movement, and inspired by an organization called To Write Love on Her Arm, I wrote LOVE on my arm in honor and support of Dave and all of my other friends from throughout the years that have struggled with depression, self-injury, addiction and suicidal thoughts.

Dave, I miss you even now. You left a mark on my heart and a smile in my memory and inspired me to write love on my arm.

For more on Love is the Movement : www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=7693997482

For more about To Write Love on Her Arm: www.twloha.com/the_story.php

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Christmas Re-Post

I was reading through past blog entries this morning and came across this post I made last year at this time. I had just had major surgery and was experiencing some pretty major crises and chaos in my life. Truthfully, I feel much the same this year as I did last, and although this year has initiated major growth in me, I know there’s a ways to go.

But this post sums up how I’m feeling now, and I’m reposting it as a reminder to myself that every story has multiple sides, woven together like a tapestry and without the bad, we would never learn to appreciate the good…

From Dec. 2006: I came across this article that so eloquently conveys thoughts I’ve been pondering in my head all week. I’ve had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. The world seems to be spinning out of control around me. So much is uncertain…things aren’t bad per se, just unsettled. I want to feel the “warm fuzzies” and genuinely want to exhibit “goodwill toward all men” in my thoughts and actions. But it’s not been easy. I haven’t been able to “psych myself up”. So I’m thankful that this article and some revelation from the Holy Spirit have reminded me that while the story of Jesus’ birth is about peace, joy, grace and salvation, it is as much about turmoil, tribulation and brokenness.

As the article says, “God didn’t prepare a pristine time where his Son could be protected and coddled!”. What makes me think I deserve a life free of difficult and sometimes scary circumstances and situations?

A Free-For-All Christmas by Phil Ware

Have you noticed that the Christmas season is more like “let’s get ready to rumble” than it is “O holy night”?
The midnight releases of video consoles, video games, movies, books and specialty gifts have caused rowdy stampedes. We’ve seen grown adults trample each other and get into fistfights over places in line and who got to a toy first. Yikes!Then from many who come from the normally dysfunctional family, there is all the family baggage that gets unwrapped with the Christmas presents. Innocent statements are misinterpreted resulting in hurt feelings. Stiletto sharp innuendos are used to carve up folks who are supposed to love one another. And then fights break out because someone corrects or disciplines someone else’s child. Double yikes!

Even the pilgrimages back to Bethlehem to celebrate the birth of Christ are complicated by the ongoing war between Jews, Muslims, and Christians in the very place where Jesus was born. These tensions threaten all of world peace in the land where the Prince of Peace lived, died, and rose again. Triple yikes!

While there is much about the Bible’s account of Jesus’ birth that is precious and touching, I believe it is also important to remind us that the Jesus story is not all sweetness and light. One of the most horrific stories in the New Testament is centered around the birth of Jesus. This story is sometimes called “The Slaughter of the Innocents.”
Jesus’ apostle Levi the tax collector records it this way:

Herod was furious when he learned that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, because the wise men had told him the star first appeared to them about two years earlier. Herod’s brutal action fulfilled the prophecy of Jeremiah:

A cry of anguish is heard in Ramah — weeping and mourning
unrestrained. Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be
comforted—for they are dead. (Matthew 2:16-18 NLT)

What are we to make of this?

The Lord himself said, “And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not alarmed … (Matthew 24:6 NRS). We live in a free for all planet where sin has marred every level of relationships. The whole story of Jesus’ coming is tied to the real world in which we live. God didn’t prepare a pristine time where his Son could be protected and coddled!

Jesus was born into a vicious world of hate, war, struggle, and jealously. These fruits of hell would be ever-present for each step he took on the little blue planet he created. God had to use an angelic vision to warn Joseph and Mary to take the baby Jesus away to prevent his slaughter. Even from the first moments of Jesus’ arrival, even while listening to the angelic choir singing “gloria in excelcis deo”, we hear the rumblings of Herod’s jealous and paranoid bile.

So when things seem bleak or difficult or fractured in the coming days of Christmas, please remember, these are as much a reminder of why Jesus came as are the sweet sounds of angels, the excited presence of Shepherds, and the mysterious journey of the magi. Jesus came to save a broken world. He didn’t do it from afar, but from up close … in person … beginning in a manger … going to a cross … before conquering death and leaving behind an empty tomb.

Tis’ the season…

for TACKY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS.

I found these beauties on-line.

Friends, I beseech you. If you own an article of clothing that twinkles, jingles, blinks or has HO HO HO embroidered on it- destroy it! Immediately! Toss it, burn it, bury it, but for goodness sake- DON’T WEAR IT!

**This has been a Public Service Announcement for the greater good of all mankind.**

Kathy Griffin, Petitions, Crazy Christians and Wasted Money

This morning I received an email from a respected leader in my church, asking me to sign a petition created by a group of Christian actors in response to Kathy Griffin’s off color comment during her acceptance of a creative arts Emmy earlier in the month.

Here’s a link to the article that accompanied the request: http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=276713

I’m flabbergasted. While I think Griffin’s comment was controversial, I’m not at all surprised by it. Griffin is known to make off color comments about many subjects, religion included. She’s a comic…that’s her job. Her comment doesn’t offend me. In fact, I thought it a bit witty. How many times, as a Christian, have I watched an awards show where someone gets up and “thanks Jesus” for their accomplishments, all of us knowing full well that it’s probably just lip service? (I’m not judging here…just being honest. No one knows a heart except God, but He does allow us to examine believers by their fruits). Griffin has never (to my knowledge) claimed to be a follower of Christ. Why would we expect her to be respectful of our God?

But most of all I found Griffin’s statements sad. To get up in front of a national audience and claim that “this award is now your God” is a very bold statement, joking or not, and one that she will have to answer for one day.

So instead of organizing protests and petitions, why doesn’t this group of supposedly well intentioned Christians put their time and effort into praying for Griffin? And I don’t mean organizing a public, self serving “prayer service” to draw attention to themselves. I’m talking about asking God, in their secret closet of prayer, to soften Kathy’s heart and reveal Himself to her.

And then there’s the issue of the $90,000 + spent on an ad in the USA Today claiming “enough is enough”? The group claims they just want to “give a voice to those who want to stand up for Christ”. That’s all well and good…except I can’t help but believe that that $90,000 could have been put to much better use feeding the poor, clothing the naked, and a thousand other tangible tasks that exhibit the love of Christ.

I don’t know…call me crazy…

L’Shanah Tovah

Ever since becoming a Christian, I have been fascinated by all things Jewish. I know that sounds contradictory, but let me explain. I remember when my fascination began. I was at a healing conference, and during a time of pretty intense worship , someone began blowing a shofar. It’s an eerily beautiful and haunting sound…one that begs you to lie prostrate before your God in awe and amazement. Something about the sounding of the shofar calling to my spirit gave me chills. To this day, hearing a shofar causes me to both tremble and feel at peace(shalom) all at the same time. This began my search into the signifigance of the shofar, and thus began my love affair.Over the years, I’ve studied more about Judaism, the Hebrew people, Jewish custom and tradition, and the history of the conflict in the Middle East. I love the Old Testament for the way it reveals God’s character, foreshadows the coming of the Messiah through the prophetic word, and reveals the symbolism behind many things in the New Testament. I also love the insight it provides into the political, social and religious climate of not only those times, but also the conflicts we have currently going on in the Middle East.Today is Rosh Hashanah, or the beginning of the Jewish New Year. My friend Jon (who was raised Jewish but is now also a follower of Christ…and who is also always SO patient in answering my questions about Jewish custom and law) explained the history behind this holiday really well this morning in an email.

At sundown yesterday the New Year 5768 began! The month of Elul has come and gone, and today is the 1st of Tishrei. The Bible calls this day the Feast of Trumpets. Jews refer to the day as Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah translated means head of the year. Rosh Hashanah commemorates the month in which God created the world. Rosh Hashanah is also the start of a special ten day period called the Days of Awe. These Days of Awe conclude with the holiday called Yom Kippur or Day of Atonement. Over the next ten days Jews are instructed to scrupulously examine their deeds and, more significantly, their misdeeds during the preceding year. It’s a time of repentance of sins, and to restore your relationships with people and most importantly your relationship with God. On these Days of Awe, Jewish tradition teaches, God decides who shall live and who shall die during the coming year. One powerful instrument used to motivate repentance during Rosh Hashanah is the shofar or ram’s horn, which is blown in the synagogue one hundred times on each of two days of Rosh Hashanah. One of the most well known customs of Rosh Hashanah is the dipping of apples into honey and then eating them. You then wish your family and friends “a sweet new year”. This is a very interesting custom that I would like to expand on more in another email. If you have never had apples and honey before, I encourage you to try it. It’s even sweeter if your last name is Sweet. (Jon’s last name is…you guessed it…Sweet)

Recently I came across and article on http://www.relevantmagazine.com/ that so wonderfully addresses so many of the points I find fascinating about the land of Israel and the Israeli people. I’ve copied it below.

Israel – Why You Should Care
by Andrew Myers

Smaller than New Jersey, mostly desert and less than sixty years old, the nation of Israel is a mere crumb on the plate of earth. Few places, however, draw more attention; fewer still elicit more passion and animosity than Israel.

The hype is justified.

Israel represents humanity’s most intense struggles: religion, politics, racism and war. Investigating Israel means asking uncomfortable questions, broaching taboo subjects, uncovering personal prejudices, traditional assumptions and destructive ignorance. A discussion about Israel cuts to the heart of every important controversy. Israel matters.

Israel matters because its existence is a miracle.

“There are in this part of the world [East and Central Europe] 6,000,000 Jews … for whom the world is divided into places where they cannot live and places where they cannot enter.”—Chaim Weizmann, President of the World Zionist Organization, 1936

In 1948, the unprecedented occurs. A people group that traces its roots almost to the beginnings of history became a nation again. After thousands of years of dispersion and intense, concentrated persecution, the Jewish state of Israel exists anew. After walking around with a target on their back (or a star on their front) since time immemorial, the Jewish people make their home once more in the exact same place their culture was born. Many younger generations take for granted the simple fact that Israel shows up on a map, failing to recognize the miraculous events that revived this country and this people from literal near-death.

Around the turn of the last century, Jewish immigration to Israel experienced an upsurge due to pogroms (organized persecution, often violent) in Europe and Russia. These early settlers purchased land from absentee landlords (often foreign investors) and immersed themselves in an agrarian lifestyle on infertile land. Ingenuity and grace, however, coaxed life from the barren deserts and malaria-infested swamplands. Where no civilization had thrived for hundreds of years, the Jewish people began a new chapter in their history.

This story turned infamously tragic during World War II. The British “White Papers” and U.S. policy denied millions of Jewish refugees entrance into the Palestine region, effectively signing a mass death sentence executed by the Nazis. Once European Jewry was all but obliterated, the U.N. drafted a conciliatory partition plan outlining a two-state Palestine: part Jewish, part Arab. The Arab League rejected the proposal.

Since the end of World War I, the British exercised sovereignty over Palestine. On May 15, 1948, the British Mandate ended, and all British troops withdrew immediately, Israel declared independence, and the newborn country was promptly invaded by seven nations: Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Yemen and Iraq.

In all of these wars, numbers, resources and reason suggest that Israel should have been defeated with ease. The result in all cases, however, was that Israel won back more land, simply by defending itself. Demonstrating unprecedented humility and mercy, Israel has returned much of this land to aggressor nations in exchange for peace. In some cases, the land was given back for nothing more than the mere hope of peace, as was the case last August, when Israel forfeited the Gaza strip with no guarantee of capitulation.

Since the 1970s, Israel has risen to become a powerful military force. Unfortunately, this demonstration of strength remains necessary because it helps dissuade the many nations and peoples who would still see Israel’s demise.

Israel matters because hate for the Jewish people still exists in the world.

“There is no doubt that the new wave in Palestine will soon wipe off this disgraceful blot [Israel] from the face of the Islamic world.”—Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, October 2005

There are 56 Muslim countries in the world. Twenty-three Arab nations account for an area twice the size of the United States. Israel, smaller than New Jersey, is the only Jewish country in existence.

At least four times in the past 100 years, Israel has accepted a two-state proposal. The Arab authorities have rejected all such offers (most recently in 2001). Despite the turmoil that has marked its existence, Abraham H. Foxman, National Director of the Anti-Defamation League, points out, “Israel remains the lone democracy in the Middle East, with all institutions—a free press, a multitude of parties and an independent judiciary—that are at the heart of true liberal democracies.”

Though the perfect government does not exist, Israel’s track record remains among the best. As reported in The International Jerusalem Post, however:

Israel is the subject of more condemnatory resolutions than any other country, it is the only UN member state that is not a permanent member of a regional group, it is alone in being ineligible for election to the UN Human Rights Commission, it is the subject of three anachronistic committees focused on Palestinian rights – and the list goes on and on. (July 1-7, 2005)

Throughout the world, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has been likened to Hitler, and Zionism has been equated with Nazism. Germany and France have seen a troubling rise in white supremacist movements over the past few years. Archaic propaganda—notions of Blood Libel and publications like The Protocols of the Elders of Zion—persist in popularity. Even Holocaust denial finds prominent support in circles beyond Arab fundamentalists.

Those who believe that anti-semitism perished with the advent of postmodernism live sheltered from the thriving undercurrent of hatred that flows around the globe. False accusations and lies continue to plague the Jews and Israel. Other Middle Eastern “democracies” continue to flounder. Countries like Uganda, Sudan and Rwanda are torn apart by corruption and ethnic strife. Yet Israel, a peaceful, self-governing, diverse, thriving nation, attracts a decidedly disproportionate amount of scorn and animosity.

Israel matters because it reveals God’s character.

“I think we do not attach enough importance to the restoration of the Jews…”—C.H. Spurgeon (19th century preacher and theologian)

Belief in an omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient God renders void any notions of coincidence in this world. That the Jews still exist—as the nation of Israel, no less—is no random occurrence. Scripture makes it perfectly clear that these events have been orchestrated (TNIV):

Zechariah 8:21: “and the inhabitants of one city will go another and say, ‘Let us go at once to entreat the Lord and seek the Lord Almighty’ … And many peoples and powerful nations will come to Jerusalem to seek the Lord …

Amos 9:14-15: “I will bring my people Israel back from exile … They will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them … I will plant Israel in their own land, never again to be uprooted from the land I have given them.”
Ezekiel 37:11-14; Micah 4:6-7; Jeremiah 50:4-5; and more.

While certain passages in Scripture speak about specific periods of renewal during the history of Israel, there is an undeniable, ultimate restoration suggested. Shortly after Jesus’ time on earth, the Temple was destroyed. It has yet to be rebuilt, its use no longer necessary thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Throughout history, however, God has exhibited a dogged commitment to the Jews, preserving them despite systematic efforts to destroy them.

Why? Because God is faithful. The existence of the Jews proves His faithfulness. In Isaiah 43, God tells the Israelites, “You are My witnesses.” The Jewish people are walking testaments to the One True God, from their lineage came God in the flesh. Mankind’s inherent, sinful inclination is to rebel against this God, this Jesus. And as His collective representation on earth, the Jews feel the brunt of this rebellion.

Because “His own did not receive Him,” the salvation Jesus brought—“first for the Jew”—became available to the whole world (John 1:11; Romans 1:16). Because God has not forgotten Israel, however (according to both Scripture and history), Israel’s eventual restoration will bring much greater riches one day.

For this reason, Satan has not forgotten Israel either, hence the supernatural, mindless hatred bequeathed throughout history to all of mankind, and exacted upon Israel and the Jews. Today, that nation is back, populated by a culture that should be dead—and the Bible predicted all of this would happen. We should pay attention.

The generalities and conclusions implied within the preceding brief summary are not meant to stand as a decisive argument. This pithy survey is meant to serve as but a springboard into greater personal investigation, discussion, and action.

Resources
Check the facts: The Case for Israel, by Allen Dershowitz;
Learn the history: From Time Immemorial, by Joan Peters
Engage the Scripture: Your People Shall Be My People, by Don Finto
Witness the hate: Protocols of Zion ( www.protocolsofzionmovie.com )
Examine your conscience: Never Again? by Abraham Foxman
Go find out for yourself: apply for the Israel Experience College Scholarship Program (email office@eagleswings.to)

I recently met a young Israeli guy while at an international ostomy conference. He graciously stayed up half the night with me one evening, answering my questions about life in Israel and the current political climate. He shared with me many perspectives and thoughts I had never considered and I’m grateful for that insight. I’m grateful that now when I pray for the nation and people of Israel, I have a face and a perspective to put with the passion. It makes it that much more real.

Dare I say that God has given me a burden for Israel. I know that this is the case, but I also know that having that burden holds me responsible to act. Other than pray, what do I do? That is my struggle.

This may sound ridiculous (and you can add me to the “Religious Zealot Update”, if you must) but I know that God will one day call me to Israel. I don’t know in what capacity, or for what length of time. Probably it will only be for a visit, and I have no idea who or how I’ll be called to serve while I am there. But I know that for whatever the cause and for whatever duration of time, my spirit will feel at home.

What is prayer?


From Ted Loder’s Guerillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle

how shall i pray?

are tears prayers, lord?

are screams prayers,
or groans
or sighs
or curses?

can trembling hands be lifted to you,
or clenched fists
or the cold sweat that trickles down my back
or the cramps that knot my stomach?

will you accept my prayers, lord,
my real prayers,
rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,
and not just the pretty, cut-flower,
gracefully arranged bouquet of words?

will you accept me, lord,
as i really am,
messed up mixture of glory and grime?

A Child-like Conscience


For the past week or so, we’ve been talking with Jaidin about the fall and going back to school. She seemed excited because her cousin Evan is going to be in her class this coming year.

Then a few days ago, out of the blue, she announces she doesn’t want to go back to Mrs. Zinni’s class. Strange, right? Any of you who remotely know our family, or read my blog, know that she LOVES Mrs. Zinni! I just laughed at her and blew off her little “announcement”. Then last night she says the same thing, to me and Jon. We asked her why, and she said it was because she didn’t want Evan to be in her class. Even weirder, since we all know how much she ADORES Evan.

This morning, on the way to Amber’s, she was awfully quiet. Usually she’s singing at the top of her lungs, or talking non-stop. I stopped at a redlight and turned around to check on her, and she was crying quietly. I asked her what was the matter and she said “One day, I took a toy from Mrs. Zinni’s class.”

No big deal, I thought. Why’s she crying about that? Mrs. Zinni was always giving them little toys and trinkets from her “treasure box”. Almost everyday Jaidin came home with some new something or other. Then it dawned on me…

She had “stolen” a toy from Mrs. Zinni’s class.

No wonder she didn’t want to go back to school. My baby girl felt so bad about her “crime” that she was crying about it.

I told her that it was ok, and to stop crying. When we got to Amber’s, I crawled in the back seat and sat by her. I told her that I was proud of her for telling the truth, that she could return the toy to Mrs. Zinni and apologize at church on Sunday, and that I was sure Mrs. Zinni would forgive her. “You not mad?” she said. ” Not mad…disappointed that you made a bad choice, but very happy that you decided to tell the truth.” I said. I gave her a big hug, and we went in to Amber’s, all forgiven.

When I got back in the car, I started thinking about how her little conscience must have been so troubled. Then I started thinking about my life, lies I’ve told, corners I’ve cut, compromises I’ve made, instead of doing the right thing. We all do it. It’s not right, but we do. No wonder God said we’d have to become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Lord, give me a conscience like my daughter’s, and the grace to humble myself and tell the truth when I’ve screwed up.

Golden



She’s alone tonight,

With a bitter cup and,
She’s undone tonight,
She’s all used up,
She’s been staring down the demons,
Who’ve been screaming she’s just another so and so,
Another so and so

You are golden,
You are golden, Child

You are golden,
Don’t let go,
Don’t let go tonight

There’s a fear that burns,
Like trash inside
And you’re ashamed of the curse,
That burns your eyes

You’ve been hiding in your bedroom,
Hoping this isn’t how the story has to go
It’s not the way it goes, It’s your book now,

You’re Golden,
You are golden, Child

You are golden,
Don’t let go,
Don’t let go tonight

You’re a lonely soul,
Inlet of broken hearts
You’re far from home,
It’s a perfect place to start

So this final verse,
Is a contradiction
And the more we learn,
The less we know

We’ve been talkin’ about a feeling,
We both know inside but couldn’t find the words
I couldn’t write this verse,
I’ve seldom been so sure,
’bout anything before

Golden,
You are Golden, Child

You are Golden,
Don’t let go,
Don’t let go tonight

This world is a dead man down (Golden, you are,)
Every breath is a fading crown we wear, (Golden, Child, you are,)
Like some debilitated king, (Golden, don’t let go,)
Don’t let go tonight

Earth Spins and the moon goes round’ (Golden, you are,)
Green comes on the frozen ground, (Golden, Child, you are,)
And everything will be made new again, (Golden,)
Like freedom and spring, (Golden, Golden,)
Hey, like freedom and spring, (Golden, you are, hey,)
Like freedom and spring (Golden, Child, you are,)

~ Switchfoot

From the "God’s Politics" blog


I especially like the quote from Solzhenitsyn…

Three Principles for Christian Dual Citizens

~Rick Nathan

Sometimes we can best understand the role of faith in politics by listening to the way people of faith responded to crises in their day. Nearly 1,600 years ago, in the year 410 AD, the city of Rome was invaded by an army of 40,000 led by a general named Alaric. The attack on Rome sent a shockwave through the world that was much greater than the Sept. 11 attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Many Christians believed that the fall of Rome signaled the end of the world, or at least the end of Christendom, since Christianity was the established religion in Rome.

The great St. Augustine responded to this equation of the fortunes of Rome with the fortunes of God’s kingdom by writing his immensely important philosophy of history called The City of God. In it, he distinguished between Rome, which he called “the city of man,” and the heavenly kingdom, which Augustine called “the city of God. The city of man, he said, was enamored with its own strength; the city of God is enamored with God and says, “I love you, my Lord, because you are my strength.”

Now, the person of faith is a resident of both cities. We live in time, but we belong to eternity. We are deeply engaged in this world, doing all we can to love our neighbor and work for justice while we acknowledge that we don’t ultimately belong to this world. According to Augustine, people of faith hold dual citizenships; we are resident aliens, or in the words of Jim Wallis’ magazine, we are sojourners.

It is precisely the dual citizenship of people of faith that both the secular left and the religious right deny. And in one of the strangest ironies in contemporary politics, the secular left and the religious right end up in precisely the same place. The secular left denies that there is a city of God to which they are morally accountable. There is only the city of man – utterly autonomous, self-confident, answerable only to itself. The religious right equates the city of God with the city of man. America is God’s chosen nation, our perspectives are God’s perspectives, our fights are God’s fights. So in its triumphalist self-confidence, “because God is always on our side,” the religious right also ends up unaccountable to God.

How can we, as people of faith, carve out a space that rejects both the secular left and its ideological twin, the religious right; one that recognizes our dual citizenship? How can we create a society that sees itself as morally accountable to God and God’s kingdom?

We can start by asking President Lincoln’s great question: Not “Is God on our side?”, but “Are we on God’s side?”

Let me suggest three simple guiding principles to assist us in determining if our political choices are on the side of the city of God.

First, how does this political choice play out for the marginalized? The Hebrew Bible reminds us over and over again to remember the widow, the orphan, and the alien; to remember the widow, the orphan, and the alien – the most dependent, the most vulnerable, the ones living closest to the edge.

Today we would say that the most dependent, and the most vulnerable, certainly include the immigrant, the uninsured, and the hungry, the unborn in the womb and their mothers, the residents in the Darfur and the victims of AIDS around the globe. When we stand before the God of history, he will not ask us about our GPA or our incomes, or what political party we supported. The God of history will ask us what we did for the least of his brethren. As Jesus said, “As you did for the least of these my brethren, you did it unto me.”

So, how does this political choice play out for the marginalized? That’s the first principle in deciding if we are on God’s side.

Second, how does this political choice support global peace? The Hebrew Bible speaks of a day when we will beat our swords into plowshares. Jesus, the Messiah, is called the Prince of Peace. The first thing Jesus said following his resurrection was “Peace be with you!” The Eucharist Christians share is called, in Roman Catholic tradition, the “Peace.” The church is always called to be a peace movement. That is why Augustine, who originated the just-war tradition, said that Christians ought to be the most reluctant to go to war – and that when we do, we always go with tears.

As I’ve said to the church I pastor, how did it come to be that we evangelicals have become the chief advocates of war of any demographic in the country? We Christians ought to be the hardest to convince; we ought to require the highest burden of proof; we ought to demand the most evidence before we support any military action. The church is always a peace movement.

Third, and finally, in deciding if we are on the side of God, we must always ask, “Do we see ourselves as answerable to God?” God forbid that we should project evil onto the other – onto the Arab, or the Persian, or the North Korean – still less onto the secular left or the religious right. As Solzhenitsyn said as he was lying on a rotting bed of straw in a Soviet Gulag,


The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either, but right through every human heart, and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. Even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained; and even in the best of all hearts, there remains a small corner of evil.


Only if we as individuals and as a nation retain the capacity to be self-critical, to see evil in ourselves, to see ourselves as ultimately answerable and morally accountable to the city of God and to the God of that city, can we have any hope that we, as people of faith, are on the side of God.

Rich Nathan is the pastor of the Vineyard Church in Columbus, Ohio. He delivered these remarks to the audience at George Washington University’s Lisner Auditorium before the broadcast of last week’s presidential candidates forum on faith, values, and poverty.